Anyway, since I can't think of anything, let me carry on with The Memoirs of Grasshopper, 'A Fung Sui Matter' started last year.
A conversation between Grasshopper and his Master....
Grasshopper: ' Master, what is the problem with Old Chen' s house?'
Master: 'Boy, tell me what is the formation of the Seven Dipper Stars for the house?'
Grasshopper: 'Oh, that is easy, it is called Mountain Dragon drowned and Water Dragon stranded'
Master: ' No, no, this is between you and me, for the learned scholars, it is called Up Mountain and Down Water上山下水, boy.'
Grasshopper: 'But master, isn't it the same? Why bother with such flowery language?'
Master: 'Of course, for us as Dragon masters, it is different but remember for the common people, you have to confuse them with such encryptic language and they will be more confident of your skills which is why the learned scholars spent so much time on reading books to confuse them'
Grasshopper: ' So Master, what is going to happen if nothing is done to correct Old Chen's House?'
Master: 'Well, first of all, he is going to have health problem which will result in him not being able to create wealth as the two little dragons have been reversed in position'
Grasshopper ' What about Papa Dragon?'
Master:' He of course is not happy as he is seating with his backside facing out and being made to turn his head every now and then to look back when his backside is being poked by Sha Qi'
Grasshopper: 'So how?'
Master: 'Its' time for my afternoon nap, we will talk about it again when Old Chen comes back again after breaking one of his legs'
Grasshopper: 'But Master, why wait until he comes back after breaking one of his legs?'
Master: ' What are you thinking? Fairies? Are both of us just living on fresh air and eating flowers here in the remote mountains everyday as what the idiotic villagers thinks? Where do you think the money for the the 18 years old Ni Er Hong 女儿红 wine, roasted chickens and porks comes from?'
To be continued.......